Who is Teaching These Classes?

WHO IS TEACHING THESE CLASSES?


"Mr. Anderson, what book on screenplay writing should I buy?"

Every time I hear this question, I think of the plethora of ‘how to write screenplays’ books out there on the market.  I have not thumbed through many ‘how to write screenplays’ books in several years.  When I taught at USC School of Cinematic Arts, at the beginning of every semester we were required to come up with a reading list.  My required reading list on screenwriting has never waivered.  I’ve only recommended three books in five years of University adjunct professorship; Ann Lamont’s  ‘Bird by Bird,’ Stephen King’s ‘On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft,’ and Frederick Raphael’s ‘Eyes Wide Shut.’

I have no profound reason these are my favorites.  They just appeal to me.  None of these books are instructional in screenwriting, although, Frederick Raphael’s  ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ is one of the most truthful accounts of what it is actually like to be a screenwriter.

I have had several people and students endorse different ‘how to write screenplay’ books with enthusiasm.  I am asked, ‘have you read this one, or have you read that one?’  No I haven’t.  I’m a professional screenwriter with screenwriting credits.  I don’t read books on screenwriting,.  One is reason is I don’t have time read them.  Another is that, as a working screenwriter, if I don't know how to write a screenplay by now, I'm in big trouble.  The final reason is that most of these books are written by failed screenwriters.

The truth is if I had to read any books on screenwriting, I’d better give up my WGA (Writer’s Guild of America) card.  It might be fun to go into a meeting with a network or studio executive with a ‘how write screenplay’ book tucked under my arm.  It may decrease my chances of getting the writing assignment or getting hired to write on a show.

There are two major reasons most books on screenwriting have not been written by professional screenwriters.  One is most professional screenwriters are too busy writing screenplays or pounding the pavement to get hired to write a screenplay.  The second reason is that the film and television business is a fear based industry.  A great percentage of professional screenwriters believe if they teach screenwriting then they are increasing their chances of someone taking their next job.  I have not done a survey, but this later reason is based on all the network and studio story meetings and all the television writing rooms I've been in.  Professional screenwriters realize we are but a moment away from getting fired from our jobs.

My first job on a one hour television series, I asked a seasoned writer how not to get fired.  He said ‘it’s impossible not to get fired.’ He told me, ‘all screenwriters eventually get fired.’ I gave him my best disbelieving expression and went about my business.  After that season I was fired.

The reason why people pay for books and seminars from non-professional screenwriters is an enigma to me.  Why would anybody consider them to be credible? Not many non-police officers teach law enforcement.  Even fewer non-professional fire fighters teach fire fighting.  Would you take your child to a pediatrician who has never gone to medical school and practiced medicine?

There is so much revenue generated on classes, seminars, and screenwriting contest, all by people who have never sold a screenplay, been never hired by a network or studio to write a screenplay, and never been on a television show.  There are countless Universities, colleges, junior colleges, and even high schools that hire people to teach screenwriting.  This is understandable.  There is a need and the need has to be filled.  My hats off to all the people making good money and receiving health benefits to teach something they have never done.

Maybe NASCAR  will let me get behind the steering wheel at the Daytona 500.  In the meantime, I'll continue to get paid to write, and to teach students the reality of how to do the same.

The Addiction to Taking Classes

About five years ago I was teaching an advanced feature film screenwriting class at USC film school.  It was the second semester and against the policy for this class, I opted to let the students turn in a feature or a television pilot.

One of my students, named Molly, decided to write an episode of one of her favorite shows, called ‘Entourage.’  She was a sure ‘A’ student, very intelligent and a very gifted screenwriter.

I sat down at home, clicked my favorite ‘red pen,’ opened her teleplay and commenced to evaluate her performance.  When I finished the teleplay, I put down my ‘red pen’ and thought long and hard about what I was going to say to her.

The next week I was teaching her class and I knew what I was going to say to Molly during the first break.  I waited for her to come out of the bathroom and I ushered her to the side.  I asked her what her plans were for the future.  She said she was only a junior and she was going to complete her senior year and then try to get an internship at a studio or network.

I listened intently, and then asked her who was paying her forty thousand dollar tuition per year.  She said her parents were paying her tuition.  I took a deep breath and told her that she should save her parents the forty thousand dollars.  I told her she should not return for her senior year of film school.  I told her she was wasting her time and her parent’s hard earned money.  I told her she was the most talented student I had had in my four years of teaching screenwriting at USC film school.

She stared at me with open mouth shock as I raised her teleplay and said she was ready to go out there and get a job.  I told her I would support her efforts as well as I could.

That summer I hired Molly to be my assistant.  I paid her well and I got to see another side of her.  She was so smart and gifted, and she was a bit lazy.  Things came too easy for her.  That didn’t concern me because her talent was going to break down some doors.

Molly opted to complete her senior year.  I was happy for her.  She got her well-earned degree from a prestigious film school.

Since my encounter with this young woman with unlimited talent, I have met several other talented writers who take class after class after class.  One person that I know to be addicted to taking classes aroused my curiosity.  One day I peeked at one of her screenplays.  She was a really good writer.  She had good training along the way.  Someone had taught her well and she had learned.

This little blog is not to discourage screenwriters from taking classes.  One day I will open a screenwriting academy and like Zaki Gordon, my academy will only be a one-year program.  The first semester will be to learn how to write screenplays and teleplays and the second semester will to complete a screenplay or teleplay.  At the end of the year I will make sure that my students have been properly trained and prepared to go out and make a career of screenwriting.  Although now I can only teach on a limited basis because of my own career,  I still feel like my students should learn and do well.  Several of my students have gone on to sell pilots and get jobs.  A couple of my students are formidable superstar writers or showrunners.

My successful students have taken my classes, I’m sure they’ve sprinkled in a few other classes (despite my warnings to be weary of failed writer teachers).  However, their success has been based on their willingness to stop taking classes and get out there to show their work.

One of my favorite producers, Gil Cates, told me once, ‘it doesn’t take but a second to lose your place in line in Hollywood.’  He was right.  Anyone who leaves or opts to delay their getting out there will lose their place in line.

In conclusion, for all you future screenwriters, this is my advice. Take a class from someone who knows how to teach.  (I feel only working screenwriters who have done it are the best teachers.  I apologize to all you failed screenwriters who now charge a fortune for your classes.  Most of you are snake oil sales people.)  Then you must write a screenplay, let a professional give you an evaluation, and finally, get out there and get in line (with your screenplays).